


Fair

by Starwolf69



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley has a great bum, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Snakes, parenting wins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starwolf69/pseuds/Starwolf69
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley take the children to the village fair.  Fun ensues.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 185
Collections: Wiggleverse





	Fair

"And, finally, I’m sure my school friends will be here so do not embarrass me,” Angelica lectured her siblings as they sat squashed into the backseat of the Bentley. 

“Ngk,” Junior groaned. “Why did we have to come to this?”

“We need to meet people and the village fair is a perfect place to do so,” Aziraphale told him. “It will be fun.”

“Ngk,” Crowley grumbled as he slid into a parking spot. “This will be a nightmare.”

Aziraphale shot him a look that said he needed to adjust his attitude quickly. The demon gave him a toothy smirk before shutting off the car. 

“Tell me again what’s going to happen?” Clem asked, a twinge of nervousness in his voice. He had decided to be human shaped for this event but only if he could use his wheelchair. 

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, darling,” Aziraphale told him. “There will be different things going on in the shops and people will have tables set up along the street with all sorts of things for sale.”

“And tons of awesome food,” Datura added. “Right, Azirafather?”

“Well, yes,” the angel answered. “But you mustn’t overindulge.”

Crowley groaned. “Let them have fun, angel. We’re giving you each money to do whatever you want, but once it’s gone, that’s it.”

“Do we have to stay with you and Azirafather?” Junior asked. 

“At first, yes,” Aziraphale said before Crowley could speak. “Then you can go off for a while but you must have a buddy or two with you.”

Aziraphale got out of the car and went to the boot to get Clem’s wheelchair. Crowley began herding children out of the car and on to the sidewalk. Clem was the last to get out, limping a few steps before he settled into his wheelchair. Aziraphale fussed over him until he was satisfied that Clem was comfortable and belted in for safety. 

“Where to first?” Aziraphale asked, looking around. 

“The bookshop! Please, Azirafather! Please!” Rosa begged. 

Crowley patted her blonde head and said, “How about we walk around and see what’s here, then we can cut you all loose for a bit.”

They walked down the main street, looking in shops and at the tables the local crafters had set up on the sidewalks. The village had closed down the downtown area to cars so there was room for everything. Crowley smiled as the children took it all in. Little forked tongues poked out as they tried to smell everything all at once. 

“Father? What’s that smell?” Datura asked. “It smells sweet and salty all at once.”

Crowley scented and nodded. “Deep fried cheesecake squares and cherries.”

“Oh, goodness!” Aziraphale said. “That can’t be good for them. Children, I want you to be sensible. No belly aches tonight.”

Five obedient voices chorused, “Yes, Azirafather.”

A pack of boys about twelve years old passed them. One turned around and called, “Gel! Hey!”

“Hi, Micha!” Angelica called back. “Meet up with you guys later?”

“You better!”

Crowley’s face darkened, a dangerous look indeed. Aziraphale took his hand after having Rosa push Clem. Based on Crowley’s look, one would assume that boy had called Angelica ‘sweetheart’ or ‘darling’. Aziraphale gently stroked the back of the demon’s hand with his thumb. 

“Crowley, he was just being friendly. She obviously knows him and she didn’t seem to mind.”

“I mind,” Crowley growled softly. “I mind a whole lot.”

“They need friends,” the angel replied. “It’s okay. I promise.”

“If he makes her cry, I make him cry,” Crowley said, still growling. 

“Such a protective papa,” Aziraphale replied, sneaking a kiss on his husband’s cheek.

Angelica hissed. “No kissing! Old people shouldn’t kiss in public.”

They walked a while longer until Aziraphale felt comfortable letting the children go off and explore. Crowley gave them each money for snacks or little things they might want. Angelica and Rosa took off in one direction while Datura, Junior, and Clem went in the other. Crowley put his arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders, patting him gently.

“They are fine, angel. I promise.”

For about half an hour, the children didn’t see either other. Angelica met up with her soccer buddies. They walked together, laughing loudly as this or that. Rosa had found Molly walking with her mother and, after a lot of begging, she was allowed to go with Rosa, Angelica, and the boys. It was Molly that spotted Penelope and company sitting in front of the ice cream shop. Molly and Rosa walked closer to the group of boys as the headed toward where Penelope and the others were sitting. 

When they got closer, Rosa noticed that Penelope and friends weren’t paying any attention to the soccer boys, but staring across the street at the fish-n-chips truck. One of the boys, Jeremy, who harbored a huge crush on Penelope, stopped, halting the whole group. 

“Oi, Penelope,” Jeremy said. “What goes?”

Penelope sneered, “Oi yourself.” Rolling her eyes, she announced, “All the boys in this town are heathens.”

“Bet they aren’t,” Brynlee said nodding toward the truck. “They look so mysterious and hot.”

Rosa looked over to the fish-n-chips truck and squeaked. Grabbing Molly’s hand, she whispered, “Those are my siblings!”

Junior leaned up against the truck waiting for Datura to pay for their and Clem’s baskets. From a distance, they all looked closer to twelve than their eight years. Once they all had their food, they found a low wall to sit on, directly across the street from the ice cream parlor. Rosa was sure they saw her and Angelica, but none of them made a movement of acknowledgement. Datura put their ponytail over their shoulder and dug in, laughing with their brothers while they ate. 

“The one with the long hair is yummy!” Amber said. “Totally yum!”

Penelope wrinkled her nose. “No way! The tall bad boy is the hottest.”

“I saw him first,” Brynlee whined. 

Angelica finally looked over and burst out laughing. “You mean those ones over there?”

“Duh. Do you see any other hotties around here?” Penelope said.

“Do you know them?” Amber asked.

“Of course I do!” Angelica said, still giggling. “Clem, Junior, and Tura. Our siblings. Junior is the tall one, Clem is in his wheelchair, and Tura has the long hair.”

Amber was nearly drooling as she started at Datura, laughing at their brothers. Penelope frowned. 

“Amber! That’s the it!” she hissed.

“Oh yeah. Definitely it,” Amber cooed.

“No!” Penelope growled, poking Amber’s arm. “The one that doesn’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

“It’s totally hot,” Amber said. “No matter what.”

Angelica shot them a look, grabbed Rosa’s hand, and marched across the street to where their siblings were sitting. She snagged a chip from Junior’s basket, getting a growl in response. She looked across the street again and turned back to her siblings. 

“See those girls over there,” she said, nodding her head toward the ice cream shop. “They are over there drooling all over you.”

“Yeah?” Junior asked, looking at the girls. Sliding his dark glasses down a little, he give them a rakish grin that was Crowley all over. The girls giggled in response.

Rosa frowned. “Junior! They are not nice girls! Don’t encourage them.”

“The one with the black hair thinks Tura is all that,” Angelica crowed. “And a bag of crisps!”

Datura blushed deeply and pulled their hair loose to fall around their face. They weren’t used to people paying attention to them in that way. They glanced over at Clem who was chatting happily with Rosa’s friend.

Angelica rolled her eyes. “You are ridiculous. C’mon, Rosa. Let’s walk around more.”

Molly gave Clem a shy wave before chasing after Rosa and Angelica. They met back up with the boys and continued walking around, looking at the craft tables and getting snacks.

Aziraphale and Crowley were in the fire station, looking at all the community services booths. Crowley suddenly stiffened and hissed. 

“Shit.”

“Crowley!”

“Shit, shit, shit,” he snarled. “There’s the tart that pinched my bum!”

“Hey! Hot stuff!” Jeanie called from across the fire station. “C’mere. Let me tell you about the Tuesday night card group.”

Aziraphale began walking toward the table where Jeanie and three other women sat. Crowley grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back. 

“What are you doing?” the demon hissed. 

“You just can’t ignore her!” Aziraphale told him, dragging him over to the table. “I’m right here. I’m sure she wouldn’t . . . molest you in front of your husband.”

“Wanna bet?” Crowley asked and plastered a fake smile on his face.

“Hello,” Aziraphale said politely. “Cards, you say?”

Crowley leaned on the edge of the table, as far from Jeanie as he could get. He looked around with an I’m-bored-out-of-my-mind look on his face. 

Jeanie looked him over and smiled. “You the little spousey?”

Aziraphale went very still. “Yes . . .”

She nodded and smiled. “Lucky you.”

“I think so.”

Like a cobra striking, she lunged across her friends and pinched Crowley’s bum. The demon yelped and jumped up. Jeanie laughed loudly as her friends snickered. 

“It was too cute to pass up,” she told Aziraphale, licking her lower lip. 

“I beg your pardon,” he said, pinning her with a look that dared her to touch Crowley again. “Madam, that is my husband.”

“Very lucky you,” she said, flopping into a chair.

“Ignore her,” one of her friends said. “She’s harmless. Really.”

“Obviously,” Aziraphale said with a little growl.

“So are you interested in playing cards on Tuesdays?”

The ride home was raucous with the children trying to tell their fathers about their adventures all at once. Crowley’s dark mood lifted as soon as he was in his beloved Bentley with this family. Finally, after a few minutes of hubbub, he whistled loudly. 

“Oi! One at a time!”

“Azirafather,” Rosa said. “Those nasty girls were looking at Junior and Tura! They said that they were cute!”

“Oh, goodness,” Aziraphale said, giving Crowley a worried look. “You all are too young for that business.”

“We didn’t do nothing,” Junior grunted. “Angelica and Rosa were walking around with boys!”

“Only my soccer friends,” Angelica grumbled. 

“Father, I met a nice friend,” Clem said softly. 

“Oh?”

“Yes. Her name is Molly and she likes books,” Clem told them. 

“Whoooo,” Datura teased. “Clem has a girlfriend!”

“Do not!” Clem said stubbornly. “Azirafather says we are too young for that stuff. She’s just a nice person.”

Crowley and Aziraphale listen to their children happily chatter about their night out. Taking his angel’s hand, he squeezed gently.  
“This was a good idea, angel,” he said softly. 

Aziraphale smiled. “A very good evening. Except the whole bottom pinching part.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Crowley said, pulling in to their driveway. “I think with the right person it might not be all that bad.”

The angel leaned over and whispered, “Adult time later?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” the demon answered. As he parked the car, he announced, “Okay, you lot. In the house and get ready for bed. Azirafather and I will come tuck you in.”

Going up the stairs, Junior mumbled to Datura, “Huh. Bet it’s adult time later.”

Datura yawned and grinned. “I’d take that bet. 

Crowley and Aziraphale tucked the children in, making sure they were settled before retiring to their room downstairs. Crawling into bed, Crowley snuggled up to his angel and sighed happily. Aziraphale stroked his hand down Crowley’s back, pausing at his waist before dipping his hand below the blankets and pinched the demon’s bum. Crowley jumped forward and laughed. 

“You’re gonna regret that,” he murmured, kissing Aziraphale’s neck.”

“Never, my love. Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Kedreeva for creating the sandbox that I don't ever want to leave.
> 
> Thanks to Quilly for helping me get this to gel. 
> 
> Thanks to OlwenDylluan for the support.


End file.
